Tuesday, February 07, 2006
It is my pleasure to announce that Blader Industries, Inc. has just inked an historic co-branding agreement with Pat Robertson that makes our firm the exclusive copulation accessory product supplier for the 700 Club.
As Chairman, CEO and Fearless Leader of Blader Industries, Inc., I would like first to congratulate my crack scientists in our Research and Development subsidiary, who showed that the decline in the population of European Christians was not fully explainable by alien abductions, as is widely believed, but is also attributable to a real reduction in birth rates.
If there is one thing that Blader Industries, Inc. knows how to do well, it is to reverse declining birth rates.
Although I was marooned on a small iceberg while away on a Chautauqua studying the copulatory behavior of marching penguins in Antarctica, when I heard the results I personally called the Rev. Pat Robertson, who said to me, "Blader, you are right. Europe is right now in the midst of racial suicide because of the declining birth rate. Can I use this information on my program?"
After I indicated to him that the research results were proprietary, the Rev. Robertson quickly recognized the synergy a co-branding agreement could bring to each of our firms. He was also careful to deny that he had no intentions of personally using any of our products (anymore) for his own copulatory activities.
He indicated that his copulatory activities are no longer conducted for procreative purposes, but instead performed because he has been commanded to share "God's goodness" with the women in his life.
As part of the agreement, Blader Industries, Inc., announces that it will add to it's popular "Big Bad Brother" suite of male enhancement pills a new brand line called, "Good God!"